16" x 20" x 1.5", acrylic and pastel on gallery wrapped canvas. Wired and ready to hang.
Friends, it’s the final write up for my #dangerousstorieschallenge - eep! This has been such a transformative 6 weeks of painting and processing. You never really know how these things are going to go... sometimes painting projects can be a big fluke. But I knew I had to grab that inspiration when I had it that night I heard @brenebrown talk back in March and find a way to use my practice to hone in on the lies I tell myself that hinder my creativity and self worth.
So, for the 11th painting in the series I wanted to bring up perfection. The illusion of perfection is something I struggle with - not because I actually think anyone is perfect or that perfection is attainable, but because I am motivated to constantly improve. It’s just part of how I work, I am hard wired to reform, goal set and go after, make better and pursue with passion. I’m not talking so much about a cultural perfection, but my own vision of it, the standard of what I hold myself to. On the one side, I carry some shame around this, because we are all supposed to be the right amount of (fill in arbitrary adjective) you know? And sometimes I am afraid that I push a little too hard for some people’s taste. But that’s ok. On the other side... I can get too easily caught up in wanting to go hard after things that I let my need for perfection spiral out of control. This takes me to a place of criticism, discontentment and depression. I am never good enough for myself when I’m striving for perfection. Which is the whole point, right? The lie that I focused on, the story I make up, is that perfection is the standard. Not ok and not true.
So here’s to wrapping this series up with a healthy dose of self reflection, remembering that my standards for myself should be grace-filled and inspired by the knowledge that I AM ENOUGH today. If you struggle with some of the same things remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH today too.
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